Hott Mama's thoughts...

Show us something that's ridiculously cute.

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My Daughter is ridiculously cute! 

What are three things you want to learn, and three things you can teach others to do? 
Submitted by bookishbiker.

To Learn:

To scuba dive:  I have always wated to learn, but am a little ashamed to admit that it terrifies me at the same time.

To Fly:  I am absolutely petrified of flying, mostly because when you're on a plane you hand complete control over to someone else... someone you don't know... scary.  If I was flying the plane I could maintain control.

To speak a foreign language:  Not just a few words of several different languages, but I want to learn one other language fluently, like Spanish, Italian, Cantonese or even Finnish.  Two just isn't enough for me, I like a challenge.

To Teach:

Survival tactics:  I was in the army cadets for 7 years in an infantry unit, we trained in the wild for a week with nothing but the clothes on our backs, and a brown bag lunch.  We had to build shelter, make fire, collect food and water, and we were completely alone for an entire week.  I aced it all, and I am sure that I could teach an outward bound course.

To knit: Pretty self explanitory, I know how and could teach it to others easily.

To swim:  I have been swimming since before I could walk.  I have had athsma for nearly 13 years now, and the only sport it didn't bother me in was swimming, so I excelled at it. 

Just a quick note to say...... Down 4lbs in 3 days, drinking lots of water, eating healthy, feeling energized and still LOVING Chalene!!!!  Hurray for Turbo Jam and Hurray for me!!!  (Sorry 'bout the bragging just feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time). <3

I have a new hero, here name is Chalene Johnson, and she's going to get my lazy fat ass back into shape.  I started a pretty standard eating regime, no more sugar, white flour or bread, potatoes or rice.  It's actually alot easier than I thought.  I had forgotten how much I actually like fruits and vegetables.  Instead of filling up my plate with the crap I used to I have a small portion of protein and a salad & steamed veggies.  I thought I'd hate working out too, but really with Turbo Jam it doesn't feel like working out.  I know I'm starting to sound like an informercial here, but I really look forward to working out.  I have being doing this for 2 days (not including today) and when I weighed myself this morning I had already lost 2lbs.  That's huge for me.  I am one of those people who can eat healthy and go for a daily walk and be really strict on my sweets and not lose 2 lbs in 2 weeks, so I'm pretty psyched.  It looks like I'm going to be fit and gorgeous at my wedding (whenever we get around to setting that date, lol)

I am TIRED of being FAT.  I'm TIRED of wearing clothing with a tag that reads in DOUBLE DIGITS.  I'm TIRED of looking at myself in the mirror wondering WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!?!.  Most of all, I'm TIRED of being TIRED!!!!  I decided to finally stop whining about being fat by doing something about it.  I'm a stay at home mom with a very busy 16 month old, so I just don't have the funds or the time to get to the gym, so I ordered Turbo Jam.  It arrived today, and I am beyond psyched to "get the party started". 

I'm kind of embarassed to say, but the 20 minute workout kicked my ass.  I am so out of shape that it's not even funny to me anymore.  I used to be fit.  I used to be a hardcore hardbody, and I loved it.  I'm not going to use the pregnancy as an excuse anymore, she's old enough to walk and talk, I should be back into shape by now.  So, Here I am making myself (and you) a promise.  I will keep a detailed record of my progress here on this page.  I will supply all my current measurements(no matter how embarassing).  And, at the end of the fist 4 weeks, I will post my fist set of results.  Here's to getting back into shape this year!

MEASUREMENTS<------Week 1

Chest: 46"

upper arms: 15"

waist: 42"

Hips: 45"

Thighs: 27"

Starting weight: 182lbs

Goal weight: 130lbs

Wish me luck!

Current mood: thankful

Dear Friend,

A whole year has passed since you selfishly took your own life and left those of us behind absolutely devastated. I have tried so hard to stay angry with you in hopes that it would keep the ache in my heart at bay (it hasn't). I dream about you so often that sometimes I wake up and forget that you are gone, or I see something funny that I know you'd appreciate and I go to call you before it hits me that you're gone and I'm never going to get to share things with you ever again. I miss you. I have so much good in my life now, I have stability, an amazing family, and a love that is strong enough to withstand almost anything. I know you'd be proud of the person I have become. I know I am. Still, it's just not the same without you. I miss my best friend. I feel so unbalanced, I'm the ying without my yang. I guess I always knew that no matter how hard it was to love you sometimes, and no matter what crap you put me through my life was better because you were in it. I wish you were here for me to talk to, I have so much that I want to share with you. I always felt so safe to be myself around you, you never judged me, and you always tried to be supportive of my decusions (Even the one that landed me 3'000+ KMs away from you, in the arms of another man). You were happy for me when I told you that I had found "the one", and I'll never forget what you said to me when I told you that I was going to have his baby. God, I loved that I could tell you anything and you would tell me exactly what you thought abut it, without ever deliberately hurting my feelings. I wonder what you would think about Tania and I becoming friends. Do you know about that? Did you have something to do with it, knowing that maybe we needed eachother to help us get through this? We understand eachother, and we understood you (most of the time). It's nice to have someone to help me keep your memory alive, but it's no substitute for the real thing. Nothing will ever replace you, or the love we shared over the years. I keep that place for you, always. I Miss you everday, but with every passing moment it gets a little easier to let you go.

 Liane

So, the last few weeks has just flown by.  I've been busy with all the regular household stuff, which has become extremely complicated with a little one who wants to help with absolutely everything ( I use the term "help" loosely, more like unfolds all the clean laundry, pulls stuff off the tables & gets into the kitchen when the stove is on and wants to touch it!!) I uderestimated my powers as a mother to raise a child who listens, I'm beginning to think that listening is a skill the develope only as adults.  I'm also looking for a part-time job so that Neil and I can save up for the downpayment on a house.  The housing prices are beyond ridiculous here right now, but we're looking at small towns around the outskirts of the city.  Preferably something with a bakyard.

I haven't been sleeping well lately either which may be contributing to my slow creep towards insanity.  I keep having the feeling that somebody is wathing me while I'm sleeping.  It freaks me right out.  I want it to go away, but at the same time I'm curous as to why I've been getting this feeling.  Maybe it's because it's getting close to the anniversary.  Firsat anniversaries of deaths are always hard, but this one is almost unbearable.  I miss my friend, and I hope he's at peace.  Anyhow so much to do and so little time.  I'll try to update again soon.

How do you take your tea or coffee?
Submitted by Vasquez.

I take my Tea & coffee the same way, strong with a splash of cream and two lumps of sugar (also known as a teaspoon).  I admit I'm a caffeine-o-holic, better an addiction to coffee than crack, right? lol. 

What are you thankful for?

I thought I'd answer this one even though We Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving last month.  I am most thankful for my wonderful family.  My Mother is my Rock, and I am so thankful to be her daughter.  My brothers & Sister-in-laws, (Kevin & Allie, Brian & Rohini) My beautiful Nieces whom are all growing to quickly as far as I am concerned (Morgan, Paige & Ella) My Hubby & Best Friend, (Neil) & my own Daughter (Ilysa).  They are all such wonderful and inspirational people. 

I look at Ilysa everyday with such wonder & curiosity in her eyes, and it makes me hopeful.  Maybe the world will be a better place because she is in it, because right now it is full of all sorts of possibilities & adventures.  She took her first steps last week, this week she's walking all the way accross the livingroom.  By next week I know she'll have it down-packed.  It's amazing, and scary at the same time.  The world has just become bigger for her, there is so much more for her to explore.  She may be ready, I'm not.  But I'm thankful that she is not afraid to try.

I'm also thankful for my Sistah (Cee) she's wonderful and insiprational, fearless & funny, fabulous & creative, she's everything she said she was going to be.  She stepped into her life without a single look back & it makes me so proud.  She is accomplishing things on a proffessional level that I fear I never will.  She has substance, she is thoughtful, she is my best friend, my sister, my soulmate.  She is Cee.  I miss you!!  Hope we get to see eachother some time in the New year. 

I have alot to be thankful for, and I don't need to remember it on just One day of the year.  I try to remember it every day, because I could be so much worse off. 

I know that the only person who ever reads this blog is Cee, partly because she adores me and partly because she is the only person in my existance who even knows this blog exists.  (BTW, Thanx for reading Cee!!!)  Anyhoo, things with me have been really busy lately.  I am pleased to say that I have found a friend who is also a parent, and completely understands that my mood swings according to my daughter's.  It's really nice to have some adult conversation with someone face to face.  It's been awhile since I had a friend close by.  The sad thing is that she's going through some terrible legal battles to keep her two kids, and she's losing.  Sucks to be the ex-wife of a man who hates you and wants to hurt you the worst way possible.  They come to take the boys on Wednesday evening.  Her heart is breaking, and there's nothing I can do to help.  It's so sad.  I hate when my friends get hurt.  Like a million years ago a friend of mine was hurting and not getting along with her mom, she moved into my house with  little persuading the Mom. (Ring any bells C?) lol.  I just wish there was/is more that I could do for her.  It's not like she's getting shared custody here, she could potentially never see her boys again.  As a Mom I'm devestated for her.  Aaaaaah!!! Sometimes I just want to SCREAM!!!!!!